Where’s Your Child At In The Primary School Pecking Order?By Cecilia On September 15, 2011 Under Parenting Controversy - Private
A few weeks ago, I asked my daughter who she had played with that day at school and she shocked me with this reply:
"Middle class girls."
Me: Ummmm, pardon?
Here's how the rest of the conversation went…
J: "There's a pecking order at school and I'm middle class."
Me: "Oh, really. What makes you middle class?"
She then proceeded to rattle off the names of the "popular" girls, followed by those deemed to be at the bottom of the pecking order.
Me: "Who made all this up?"
J: "I don't know, that's just how it is."
Me: "So, are you happy being middle class?"
J: "Yeah, the popular girls are boring. They don't play, they just wander around at lunch time."
Me: "That all sounds a bit silly to me. Can't you just be friends with everyone."
J: "No, you can't be friends with the popular girls if you aren't one of them."
Me: "Who says they're the popular girls anyway?"
J: "They just are. There's a big group of them."
Me: "Are they mean to you?"
J: "No, they just don't take any notice of me."
Me: "Whatever, as long as you have some nice school friends to play with."
J: "I do."
You expect this kind of philosophy to permeate high school peer groups, but when did talk of a pecking order hit primary school playgrounds? When did social status become a concern for our young chicks?
Should we parents now be stressing about where our seven year-old sits on the social ladder?
Has your child ever mentioned a school pecking order? If they haven't actually vocalised it, do you see the existence of a pecking order among the kids at your child's school? If your child admitted to being below middle class in the school social order, would you see this as cause for concern or would you brush it off as nonsense?